In trouble again...

but I know I deserve it. I had resolved to post on here once a day. My Mistress only required that I post once a week, and I have failed to meet that requirement. So I know I'm going to be corrected (rather painfully) when I see Her this weekend. Because I am posting tonight my punishment will be less severe. I hope my Mistress knows just how grateful I am for Her mercy. I need a patient Mistress and a patient girlfriend. I don't know anyone else who wouldn't run away screaming at the sight of all my baggage. And I don't know any other Domme's who would put up with my behavior, but some how I have a wonderful and loving Mistress who knows I can learn and is willing to teach me. The last weekend I spent with Her was all about learning. My Mistress had warned me about my impatients and that she was going to teach me a lesson in patients and my place. I honestly forgot all about her warning until I got to Her apartment.

When my Mistress and I are separated all week and some times more we are usually pretty quick to... catch up on things when we are together. So after several minutes of intimate contact on Her couch I started wondering why this didn't seem to be leading anywhere. She then informed me that it was in fact... going no where. She explained to me that I was too expectant of receiving pleasure, and that I needed to learn that the dynamics of our relationship were not about MY needs. She was right, as usual. Some how I had lost sight of the fact that the fundamental aspect of our lifestyle revolves around Her. Her desires. Her commands. Her rules. So to show me that waiting wouldn't kill me, and to remind me of my position, She kept me in a state of arousal while denying me any type of release. To make matters worse, it would be hours before she even allowed me to beg for it... and begging comes very naturally to me. The very begining of the lesson was the hardest. We were laying, limbs intertwined on the couch. I rolled my hips against her in a fit of frustration and she slapped me. Hard. But what really stung was the way she snapped "Can't you control yourself? You're like a dog!" The shame I felt then brought tears to my eyes, my thoat tightoned and I couldnt speak. She noticed right away, of course. She wanted to know what the matter was and it took me several tries to express my feelings. She was satisfied that her point had been made.

Later that night we went to visit our good friend Lilith at her job. We met a Dom who had a submissive wife who had once owned a live in female slave. He had brought a very heavy box of stuff that my Mistress and Lilith were going to split, my Mistress reached for the box and I said "Let me, Mistress" and carried the box to my car. This pleased her. Later when we were alone I took great care to pleasure her without pleasuring myself, which also pleased her because it showed I was learning my lesson. Even later when we were in bed She was bringing me back to a sexual frenzy and I started babbling, I was actually begging her to let me beg. She found this highly amusing and granted me permission but told me that it wouldn't do any good. I understood but I begged anyway. When she finally fucked me and let me cum it was incredible. She was particularly brutal (in the best of ways). I think it was to reward me but also to show me how waiting can pay off. If this werent about being a good slave it would sound like a lesson from barney....

The other event that stood out that weekend was our first trip to CUFF's bi-weekly meeting. They had a hands on seminar on foot worship which I think should be bottled and sold on e-bay. We met a lot of very nice and interesting people. We are going to keep going back to these meetings, the munches and hopefuly the play parties. I can't wait to go back and my Mistress is very excited because she thinks that CUFF will be our perfect base in the Community.

The rest of our time together was filled with various activities, with and without bdsm. I understand now why my Mistress is so insistent that I blog right after our weekends together... things just arent as clear in my memory after a week goes by. I am sorry for disobeying one of Your instructions Mistress...

the day will come when one of my posts doesn't end in an apology.